Homer Sykes: Britain in the 1980s. Text by Tim Wells (4/5)

Posted: September 22, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Amusements, Class, Out Of Town | Tags: , , , | Comments Off on Homer Sykes: Britain in the 1980s. Text by Tim Wells (4/5)

Watching the Lord Mayor’s Show, 1980. © Homer Sykes/Photoshelter.

Epsolutely by Tim Wells:

Epsom, let me tell you about Epsom.

The first time I met the parents of my girlfriend Alexis they put on extra posh accents to impress. They were sweet, so was the tea, and already far posher than me. It only took one ‘Ello, luverly to meet you’ from me for them to realise they’d over-invested. But by then they couldn’t back down. Alexis whispered that they weren’t normally that posh and all she’d told them about me was that I was lovely. But they knew, that I knew, that they knew, that I knew, that they knew, that I knew, that they knew, that I knew, that…

Epsom, let me tell you about Epsom.

Bin men pick up rubbish bags with their pinky fingers daintily extended, John Nettles is the law and the starlings sing ‘You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful…’ in Epsom, let me tell you about Epsom.

I bought my girl chocolates. There were only Conscious Chocolate, Green & Black’s and Seeds of Change in the pristine shops. Middle-class chocolates with centres such as ‘the better part of town’, ‘a good college’ and ‘a bit of rough’ in Epsom, let me tell you about Epsom.

There are no coincidences but sometimes the pattern is more obvious. In Epsom, let me tell you about Epsom.

Alexis had a Porsche, in ‘not red dahling; scarlet’. She’d motor to Marks and Spencer’s, to the Downs and to country pubs for lunch. On our first outing she squeezed me in and sped off in a polite cough of dust. A few miles on she remarked worriedly that the car seemed to be dragging to the left. She drove a bit further and then pulled over. She walked around the sportster but could not find fault, drove further and said that the car was still not right. I asked her how many other fat blokes she’d had in there before?

I got the train back from Epsom, let me tell you about Epsom.

© Tim Wells.

Homer Sykes: Britain in the 1980s. Text by Various. (3/5)

Posted: September 21, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Amusements, Pubs | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

‘Oops!’ (Rowing Boat Song), Hen Night, South London pub, circa 1980. © Homer Sykes/Photoshelter.

From Do You Remember? Forums

What was that dance called?

Posted by Bruce, 05/04/2005:

I remember a dance where you all sat in a line on the floor with your legs astride the person in front and then swayed from side to side and stuff. What was that dance called and what song was it meant to go with?

Posted by Precious Jewels, 08/04/2005:

It was for ‘Oops Upside Your Head’ by the Gap Band…Sweet reminiscing of discos growing up! Did it have a name for the actual dance?!

Posted by lionlevy, 19/04/2005:

Assorted aunties used to refer to it as “that boat song…” Very popular with aged relatives for some reason, despite their assorted dodgy arthritis & rheumatism doing its best to hinder them.

Posted by scallycapsforever, 09/08/2005:

Yeah the row boat song. A classic at family dos the length and breadth of the country it was also hilariously lampooned on ‘Men Behaving Badly’ to ‘Sailing’ by Rod Stewart.

Posted by Zen Master, 30/04/2005:

Not sure of the name of the dance but the song was a group called Forest, I will find the title later, was played at a birthday evening or event. Great fun all innocent……fun.

Posted by Clive Henry Jones, 27/06/2005:

Yeah, Forrest did “Rock the Boat” but it was a cover of The Hues Corporation’s original. This track was not a dedicated dance track, though, as “Oops upside your head” was (Rowing boat dance). As a DJ, I stll play “Oops” at mixed aged parties because:
a. It’s a good track which fills the dancefloor.
b. You get to look up women’s skirts as they get down (and up) – all innocent, though and I dare you to try to not look and see who’s wearing suspenders & who’s not.
c. You usually gety some saddo walking up and down the line of “rowers” whipping them with his tie.

Posted by SG1973, 26/05/2007:

Saw an interview on tv with the Gap Band and they said when they first came to England to do TOTP they couldn’t understand why everyone sat on the floor swaying from side to side. They’d never seen it done before. Must be an English eccentricity thing.

Homer Sykes: Britain in the 1980s. Text by Charles Jennings (1/5)

Posted: September 19, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Amusements, Clubs, Entertainment | Tags: , , , , | Comments Off on Homer Sykes: Britain in the 1980s. Text by Charles Jennings (1/5)

Charity Ball, Hilton Hotel, circa 1980. Photo © Homer Sykes/Photoshelter.

Club Night by Charles Jennings:

Thank you very much, ladies and gentleman. We’d like to do a Commodores number now –

Oh God. Three Times –

A beautiful number.

It’s once –

Shit!

Twice –

I’m dancing to this. This is my FAVOURITE –Three Times A Lady –I don’t CARE about Roger. He never dances. I don’t care. I’m fucking DANCING this one ANYWAY –

Thank you very much.

… for The London Column. © Charles Jennings 2011.

The Heath: Photo: Andy Sewell, text: Katy Evans-Bush (2/5)

Posted: August 24, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Amusements, Literary London, Parks | Tags: , , , , | Comments Off on The Heath: Photo: Andy Sewell, text: Katy Evans-Bush (2/5)

© Andy Sewell.

To Fanny Brawne,Wentworth Terrace, Hampstead
cFeb 1820

My dearest Girl,

I continue much the same as usual, I think a little better. My Spirits are better also, and consequently I am moew resign’d to my confinement. I dar not think of you much or write much to you. Remember me to all.

Ever your affectionate

John Keats.

To Fanny Brawne, Wentworth Terrace, Hampstead
cMarch 1820

Sweetest Fanny,

You fear sometimes, I do not love you so much as you wish? My Dear Girl I love you ever and ever and without reserve. The more I have known you the more have I lov’d. In e;ry way – even my jealousies have been agonies of Love, in the hottest fit I ever had I would have died for you. I have vex’d you too much. But for Love! Can I help it? You are always new. The last of your kisses was ever the sweetes; the last smile the brightest; the last movement the gracefullest…

Your affectionate

J. Keats.

To Fanny Brawne, Wentworth Terrace, Hampstead
cMarch 1820

My dearest Fanny, I slept well last night and am no worse this morning for it. Day by day if I am not deceived I get a more unrestrain’d use of my Chest. The  nearer a racer gets to the Goal the more his anxiety becomes, so I lingering upon the borders of health feel my impatience increase. Perhaps on your accounbt I have imagined by illnessmore serious than it is: how horrid was the chance of slipping into the ground instead of into your arms – the difference is amazing Love. Death must come at last; Man must die, as Shallow says; but before that is my fate I feign would try what more pleasures then you have given, so sweet a creature as you can give. Let me have another opportunity of years before me and I will not die without being remember’d. Take care of yourself dear that we may both be well in the Summer…

Your affectionate

J.K–

Andy Sewell’s book The Heath may be purchased here.

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